Social Capital Mentor

My brother Charles recently called me to talk through a small, but common, networking dilemma: there were two networking-related events on the same night and he was trying to decide which one to go to. He’s getting into the green-building industry and both events would expose him to people in that field. He was leaning towards Option One for the reasons mentioned below.

Option One - Green Building Tour. This was a one-time event that had a lot going for it:

1. He would explicitly learn details of what a LEED certified building looks like (LEED is a green-building certification program)
2. The number of people at this event would likely be more than Option Two
3. It sounded more interesting than Option Two

Option Two - Monthly Planning Meeting for an Upcoming Conference. (At first glance, you might not consider this a networking event. Keep reading, and at the end, see if you still feel that way).

My brother has been working after hours with a small group of people to plan a conference that’s coming up. It’s not the most exciting thing to do, compared to the tour, and it would be easy to justify skipping this planning meeting for a few reasons:

1. He already knows these people
2. He can connect with them one-on-one before and after the planning meeting
3. He can complete conference-planning tasks offline, throughout the month
4. He’s going to be at other planning meetings in the future

What would you do?

In the end, it came down to keeping his commitment.

After explaining the situation to me, he came up with his answer. He decided to go to the less exciting Option Two. It came down to one main reason: he made a commitment to these people that he would be there to help plan the conference. He wasn’t going to back out of that commitment lightly. Sure, he could accomplish tasks on his own between meetings, and that would be a valuable contribution, but there’s something about being there elbow-to-elbow with others that you can’t put a price on. There’s a special camaraderie created by being in the trenches with your comrades that you can’t build over email.

Relationships are more important than contacts.

I’m sharing this example because when you look at it this way, it’s so clear. It’s not about the number of people you meet. It’s about the strength of the relationships you build. By working with these other people to make a conference happen, Charles is creating deeper and more meaningful relationships than he ever could at the green-building tour.

Working towards a common goal is a golden opportunity to showcase who you are.

When you already work with someone at a company, it’s easy to know what kind of person they are. You see it every day! That’s why Charles’ decision was so smart: by working with these people towards a common goal — planning the conference — he’s able to showcase the kind of person he is even though they don’t “work” together. Not only can he show his enthusiasm for green building in concrete ways, he can also show how he communicates, problem solves, deals with challenges, and supports others.

Thanks for the example, Charles.

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